wild rice pudding with clementines and cranberries

It’s been several weeks, my acquaintances. I was delayed by the Ice King, enjoyed a thrilling but fleeting career as the tambourine player in a band of captive princesses, and tripped down the rocky ravine, falling into a pile of scattered Scrabble letters.
Luckily, after I got up and brushed away the rubble, I found the Gourmet cookbook containing Ruth Reichl’s careful curating and cataloguing of 60 years of Gourmet history.
While evil dis-eases permeate the air, make sure you’re getting enough vitamin C. Ascorbic acid sold at drugstores doesn’t count; the ascorbate acid that your body actually can process and use as vitamin C is only found in the real deal: citrus! The moment the peel is pulled back, magical ascorbate escapes into the air. So consume quickly.
Everyone knows that wild rice is for when you are feeling wild. After I won my freedom back with the help of Jake (the dog) and Finn (the human), the feeling of liberation was so overwhelming that I found myself starting to win at card games and toning my triceps.

Fight off Ice Kings and scurvy with such a wild dish as this. Happy belated Thanksgiving.
(recipe forthcoming)

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